the gamer to end all gamers, here, queer, bi, and newfound wizardposter. 23/demiboy and bionicle is fuckin based. also Tolkien, HTTYD, and other series. 18+ here. be warned. Any spicy jokes or stuff will be tagged with nsfw and nsfw funny so please block those if you don't want to see them.
being a transformers fan humbles you because youll start having complex emotions about characters named shit like chromedome and deathsaurus
It could be worse, we could be botsbots fans. For whatever reason I have the names of the toilet troop engraved in my brain, like they have a fucking Guy named Loose Deuce and another named Stinkosaurus
“the CEO doesnt want to run that kind of website” Excuse, shouldnt have bought the ‘go nuts show nuts whatever’ website if thats the case. APPEAL DENIED
“we have to follow the TOS of the appstores we’re hosted on” Excuse item one, no you dont, item two, you have since those days implimented infrastructure that would allow pornography and sex work on this platform Without violating TOS of any applicable app store. APPEAL DENIED
“we own the site we get to make the rules” Incorrect, this site has only ever made profit when the users willed it. we collectively own the site as a hive mind and no legal change in ownership will change that. APPEAL DENIED
“we have to keep this website safe for the children who use it” Argument based on fallacybanning pornography and sex workers does not prevent pornography and sex work from occuring on the site, it only forces aforementioned users to hide and avoid labling their content appropriately, which REDUCES the safety for children and sex workers alike instead of increasing it, this has been shown to the point that making this argument at all is tantamount to admiting fascist intent APPEAL DENIED
Reblog it. I want this to be on Tumblr radar by end of the week, i want my notes to be useless from the discourse, i want every single person on Tumblr to have seen this post at some point
sing it from the fucking rooftops, this website is fucking garbage and it trying to be Twitter while it whines and cries and has 50,000 meltdowns over seeing a titty should be funnier than it is but given all of the above, it’s mostly just fucking infuriating.
i still can’t get over how in the blue shadow virus arc of the clone wars, after a bunch of people were exposed to a dangerous virus, anakin arrived on the planet and ignored both his men (who he is legally responsible for as their commanding officer) and, even worse, ahsoka (his padawan who he is legally responsible for because she is a minor), so that he could run straight to padme’s side….
never mind the fact that padme had a hazmat suit for a long while to protect her against the virus, while his men and ahsoka had been exposed for virtually the entire time and were significantly worse off than padme. like padme was still conscious at the time of the rescue, while ahsoka was completely down for the count long before that. never mind the fact that anakin was in contact with them both the entire time and absolutely knew that his padawan was out here struggling ten times more than his wife:
anakin’s so absorbed in checking on padme that he doesn’t even think to ask about his padawan or his men. it’s padme who has to bring up ahsoka, who’s being brought in on a different stretcher! only then does he even remember she exists, because even his own padawan is a mere afterthought compared to padme for him!
once she does, anakin does go to ahsoka’s side, and he does a good job of reassuring and praising her. when he tries, he can be a pretty good mentor. but that’s the key phrase: when he tries. and this episode makes it abundantly clear that if padme is in any amount of danger, even if it’s a fraction of the danger that ahsoka is in, he will not try until someone else reminds him.
oh and and all while that’s happening, obi-wan is the only one actually sitting with the troops!!!! even though they’re anakin’s troops!!
anyways prioritizing your wife, an actual adult, over the child in your care who was in significantly more danger, to the point that you have to be reminded of said child’s existence, is…. not a great look. it certainly reflects how anakin’s fixation on padme has become this all-encompassing thing.
these scenes are all around minute 20 of season 1 episode 18 by the way. check it out yourself, because it’s absolutely bonkers.
Obviously clones can be replaced, and togruta children come in 12 packs at space costco? but padme? your politician winwife for your failmale self? There’s only one person willing to date an anakin.
when jerma said “if I were to put you in a meat grinder” Elden Ring, March 2022 he was talking about this guy in specifics. like he couldn’t pull fucking taffy let alone a relationship
Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.
Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.
Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.
You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.
As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.
Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.
This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.
A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.
I’m not usually one for trip reports but this one is gold if only for the phrase “Atreides High”
